What I want to share is how I came to the decision to leave the safety of my home to discover what my heart, my soul, and my business need. In Mexico.
The idea first entered my head in June 2018 after ending an emotionally abusive relationship.
"Maybe I need to leave Seattle to find love"
"Maybe I need a break from the life I have been living"
"Maybe I need a change"
These thoughts lingered in the back of my mind.
But I met another man, fell in love, and got my heartbroken. Again. The day after this man cheated on me I sought guidance and coaching. During this conversation I was asked, “what does your heart need?” Without any thought, I replied, “I need to leave Seattle. Something has to change.” I began an investigation of what that might look like.
First, it looked like going to Oklahoma to visit a dear friend. I had the space to grieve, to laugh, to be still, and to be held. It was within this trip that I decided I was committed to going to Mexico.
To spend time to be by myself.
To face my loneliness.
To discover myself newly.
To listen to what my heart desires.
To learn who I am and what I am capable of.
To discover what nurtures me and then to design my life around that.
Then, I considered what I would miss, what I wasn't ready to let go of. I realized that one of the hardest relationships to leave would be the working relationship that I was building with my coworker, Erin.
In 2018, I was working at a restaurant part time to supplement my income. Busy shifts running around the restaurant often led to post-work drinks with coworkers. These were often held at Wann, a sleepy sushi bar on 2nd Ave where we could get happy hour rolls, a libation, and unwind from the chaos of the evening.
Between running my business during the day and waiting tables at night, Wann also became a place for me to frantically finish outstanding photography work. My coworker Erin often sat beside me with her head hovering over my shoulder while I built slideshows, narrowed down images for Portrait Masters, and completed editing.
"I would get that hair," she would point with a veggie roll still lodged between her chopsticks. And a beautiful partnership was born. When I shared my intention to go to Mexico, she eagerly agreed to join me on whatever quest I was to create.
Fast forward to January, 9th. We're on a plane with a one-way ticket to Guadalajara, Mexico. We spent two months connecting with family, building a community, working, and most of all discovering what was next. Though I am confident we fulfilled all of our intentions in Mexico, we came back separately and with more questions than answers. As I continue to answer these questions, let me tell you what I do know:
It is time to bring my heart to my work!
Comments